How does one measure a year? About this time last year it was Easter Sunday which seemingly everyone was calling Resurrection Sunday like it had always been called that and to suggest otherwise was blasphemous. In addition to that, Transgender visibility day fell on the same day to add to the political debate and caused further controversy and division among the people. This of course was played off as Transgender visibility day had been a thing for a long time and it was purely coincidence that it was falling on the same day as one of the two holiest days of the year on the Christian calendar. More gaslighting in my opinion.

Perhaps this was the start of when I noticed that people were acting a little differently, a little more strange. There was an eclipse coming up in a few days on April 8, 2024 and that did not seem to help things, but I definitely noticed a change in people. Like there was something in the air that was causing everyone and everything to just be a little off kilter. I can’t really describe it.

I remember sitting at Easter brunch doing some people watching as they filed up to the all you can eat buffet feeling like a stranger in a strange land. Something had to be done. First thing was first. I hadn’t changed my handle on my YouTube channel in a while so I thought now was a good time. Long ago, I had it set as Cyndi the Great as I have always wondered what it takes to be great and knowing that our society hasn’t had anyone who has been known as “the Great” in a long time. I wonder why. In my search for the meaning and purpose of this human condition and my quest to achieve a higher state of consciousness I have always felt that I would someday do something and achieve greatness. Perhaps this lies within each and every one of us but that is something that I have been searching for my entire life as there has to be more to it than just suffering, servitude and then death.

I changed that handle long ago though because as much as I am pursuing greatness, I have not achieved it yet nor do I wish to be that arrogant and demand such a thing that I have not yet achieved. I settled in on a more anonymous Cyndi the courier as that is who I am and that is what I did. I live in a pretty big city and while I wanted something that still could identify me out in the real world, the likelihood of that happening was still pretty small. Then on Easter Sunday I changed it again for I thought was the last time.

I changed my handle to amancalledcyn that day as it seemed like the timing was right and I seemed to fit the description. It might look like a bunch of gibberish but add in a few spaces and the moniker should become clear a man called cyn. I went with called instead of named to throw it off just a little more and protect myself as I think I’m working on something big here. Is this biblical big that I write about? Yes, I believe that it is. There is some secret code written into the Bible that man has been trying to break since time immemorial and if the recent increase in discussion of end times prophecy is any indication, it appears that we are getting closer to that time.

Perhaps that is why there is all this talk about Agenda 2030. It takes little imagination to understand that the political elites know more than what is being told to the people of the world. Maybe there is a plan that the general public is not privy to and those in power know more than they are telling the people. I used to listen to a song by the rock band Warrant titled “April 2031” and that was off their album Dog Eat Dog released in the early 1990’s. The song is apocalyptic in nature.

It’s my opinion that something big has been preplanned for the future and I have been investigating all the angles that I can process in order to uncover it in hopes to avoid a disaster. I am attempting to answer a question as to whether the future is predetermined or if it is truly one of our own making and if it is the latter then who is pushing for this destruction? My big problem was that my only outlet is this blog as I feel that any posts that I make in mainstream social media networks are censored or have such limited reach that people on my friends list don’t even see what I post or even f they do, they just keep scrolling as I tend to be a bit wordy. Maybe I’m just not that good at using social media but I think somewhere along the line I must have set off some kind of alarm that my speech was to be limited. That’s the only explanation that I have. This shadow banning is a deterrent but it doesn’t stop me from searching for the truth.

Some of the angles are so preposterous and border on the conspiratorial and cannot be proven. Perhaps it’s supposed to remain a mystery. Maybe there is something to what is written in the scripture known as the Holy Bible but I can’t be to sure about that as there’s a lot of books that have been omitted over the years and the Vatican keeps it’s library under heavy security as if there’s information hidden there that is not supposed to be known for fear that the whole religion might be discredited. Just imagine what damage could be done if the worldview of a billion people was destroyed in an instant. I guess that would qualify as sudden destruction and that has been prophesied.

It seems like we are speeding towards this outcome whether it’s warranted or not as Christianity is the dominant religion in the western world. As we approach the one year anniversary of the Great American Eclipse, I have to wonder if something glorious or miraculous is about to happen…most likely nothing will happen. The sun will rise and set just like it always does but will there be a shift in our collective consciousness greater than last year? I can’t speak for anyone else but it seems like I’m in some time paradox. In 2023 we were all warned of a dark winter coming but if my memory serves, the winter of 2023 to 2024 was rather mild. I can’t say the same for last winter as it was particularly harsh at least for me.

Well the day is upon us, and nothing has really happened. Sure the stock markets are down but that doesn’t mean much as there are ways people make money when trading volumes are going up and there are ways to make money when stocks are going down. I guess that’s why it’s called trading as money is just trading hands from one person to another but overall the whole thing doesn’t make sense to me so I stay out of it.

There are also further problems in the Middle East and issues between the usual suspects. This has been going on for far too long with no end in sight. Someday, someone will come along and solve that problem for good but I wouldn’t count on that happening any time soon. I at its core, it’s a war over ideologies and that never ends well. It’s all part of some grand scheme to unite the world under one system of government and I doubt that’s going to happen as the people are too diverse in their customs for that to happen and that doesn’t even touch on the subject of greed that lies within humanity or the overall feeling that one has to have way more than everyone else at the expense of their neighbors. One would think that we should have learned something about this by now but we have not and this seemingly endless cycle continues. Perhaps it’s time to break it.

Maybe it’s time that we work to break this free from this corrupt system. Perhaps that’s what this whole talk of the rapture is all about? All over YouTube or then again maybe just in my feed, there’s talk of the rapture by all of the watchmen. They’ve been doing all their calculations and they think that it’s got to be coming soon. I want to believe them and don’t want to be labeled a mocker or a scoffer as they like to say as these beliefs are genuinely held by them that the true believers are going to be magically transported away from this world soon before the time of tribulation begins.

With that said, it’s hard to see how this time has not been anything but tribulation for many people in this world though, so I don’t know how much worse some of these rapture watchers think it can get. There are so many people in the world today who are simply existing at a subsistence level with no means to escape that endless struggle. Each day is more of the same. It does not have to be like this but it is and no one seems to be speaking out about all of the inequality that goes on in this world.

So what is next up on the calendar? Easter? Passover? Yes to both. Will something happen by then? Again, probably not but then again I am not invited to the meetings that make these decisions so I can’t really say. Maybe the this rapture thing that they speak of will be small and kind of a dud as if it’s not supposed to happen. Maybe that would prove that it’s not a real thing. I have spoken about this in the past on several videos posted on my facebook page but now due to a change in policy over storage issues, facebook will be deleting all my old live videos and they will be gone, lost forever because I’m not going through the hassle of downloading and saving them on another platform. Perhaps that’s for the best.

Maybe I’ve said all that I wanted or needed to say or maybe I’ve said too much already. Maybe I should stop talking and maybe I should stop writing as I don’t know if anyone reads them and judging by the feedback that I get which is none, nobody reads them so aside from me using this as a place to express myself and vent a little, it really doesn’t make any difference whether I continue to write here or not. I hope something good happens soon and I guess something good is going to happen at least for me. Tomorrow I finally get to escape the long term hotel that I have been staying at for the last ten months of which I have given the nickname hotel hell.

Are better days on the horizon? I hope so but then again I know this is going to be another uphill climb and I’m getting tired of always climbing because for me it’s doesn’t seem to be hills but mountains that I have to ascend. Is it all part of some divine plan or is it all just some big cosmic joke? I don’t know. I’m sitting alone now in my new apartment and while I should be happy to finally be out of the hotel, the depression seems to be getting worse. Now I’m surrounded by boxes of just some of my stuff with a lot more left in storage. It’s probably going to have to stay there because I can’t imagine lugging it all up two flights of stairs to the third floor only to life among a bunch of boxes.

What’s in the boxes you ask? My various collections most of which consist of die cast vehicles with numbers estimated to be between the 15-20,000 range. It’s something that I’ve been doing for over 25 years now and I’m a completist, meaning when it said on the package to collect them all, that’s what I attempted to do. What did I plant on doing either all these you ask? I don’t know that either. I guess there was a dream to put them all on display as to abstractly show what a misspent life looks like as they really mean nothing are just really toys that are supposed to be played with and enjoyed by children and not scalped by adults always looking to turn a profit. I never planned to sell them, just keep collecting. I’ve seen enough stories about how a little toy car that originally sold for a couple dollars is somehow worth a couple hundred dollars now, but then again, things are only worth what others are willing to pay for them.

What does one do with a collection that one has spent half a lifetime acquiring? I’m not looking forward to selling it as the shear volume of it all is daunting and overwhelming. At this time, I can’t put a number on what I think the value of the whole collection is but have to believe that at minimum at approximately $1.00 per unit, I’m looking at some serious money. Of course knowing my luck, I would have a hard time getting that much as I’m not good at selling anything. Maybe I should just take the huge loss and dispose of them for pennies on the dollar. The lesson here that has been hard to learn is that once you buy something, you better be happy with it as you own and to anyone else, it isn’t worth that much. Almost everything loses value and very little in this world holds value or even rises in value. That should not be confused with price as prices and values are two very different things. If you’ve ever heard the saying that someone knows the price of everything and the value of nothing then you can understand what I’m talking about.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with the collection but step one is trying to get a good valuation of it all. I have spent the last week or so, trying to accurately count how many pieces are in it. The number I currently have is just over 14,000 with a few more boxes to go. When it’s all counted, I estimate the number to be just over 15,000 so my early low estimate was good. Now that I know how much I have, I can begin the process of trying to figure out what to do with it all. There’s a part of me that wants to open a store and I think that’s a pretty good idea as I think that I have enough to fill one, but I lack the money to do that, so I’m kind of stuck at the moment. Someday I’ll figure this one out but that day is not today and I don’t think the day is coming anytime soon; kind of like the rapture.

The watchmen on the wall are still waiting for this event to take place and the fact that it did not happen last Sunday just means that there’s going to be a whole new set of times that are high watch periods. Maybe now that Pope Francis has passed on, another marker has been hit but I doubt that. It looks like the prophecy was misinterpreted or wrong again and the Vatican will be electing a new pope soon enough. Maybe this next one will be the final pope or possibly there’s nothing new under the sun. I’m still good to hold out hope for this rapture thing to happen but with each passing day, the whole idea sounds more convoluted. I highly doubt that some miraculous event is going to take place and we believers are going to be magically taken out of this world to go live with the Lord, Jesus Christ as they like to say.

Well, Easter and Passover have come and gone and almost all of us are still here. There are a few more days coming up that seem promising but then again, I will prepare for more disappointment. Lately, my depression has been taking quite a toll on me and I don’t know how much longer I can continue on like this. Last weekend was one panic attack after another and it’s really wearing me down. Do with that said, maybe we are on the brink of something big. In about a week or on May Day to be more precise, I will be observing the one year anniversary since everything in my world got turned upside down. As above, so below is what they say. What did I do to deserve all of this? I wrote someone a letter about a job that I thought I would be good at doing. I didn’t get that job. I guess it was kind of a long shot, or maybe I was a little bit too optimistic to think I could make a change in that capacity. Most likely what had happened was the job had been promised to someone else already and we all had to go through a big show. In any event, I have little confidence in the man currently in that position.

What pisses me off the most about the whole thing is how my life completely unraveled while everyone else’s seemingly improved. I don’t know how it was done but there were plenty of people and clues that were working on making me think that I was on the right track but impossible to explain to others. The story was too convoluted to be real. I must have been having a mental illness episode. At the time I don’t think I was but now months after the fact, it’s clear that I have developed a serious case of depression. I’m trying to break out of it but it is difficult and now life has become a day to day struggle.

One year to completely ruin your life? I took that challenge and it worked. Mission accomplished. Maybe now that I’ve lost most everything that I once cared about and had to sell off a lot of things that had sentimental value now I can move on and start over with a new goal. Maybe in a year from now I can get to a place where I am better than I was before.

I guess only time will tell but something tells me that if the political climate stays the same, the economy will not improve for the the vast majority of people and we’re all in for a very bumpy ride. The media can’t call it a recession for some reason or another but for many people, self included, it feels a lot like a depression. So much for that new golden age thing that we were promised. Maybe it will get better but that remains to be seen. It seems that any improvement won’t be seen without a period of great pain and suffering for many for the foreseeable future.

This country and this world needs a savior and sadly no one is coming to save anyone. We are on our own here. We can continue to debate stupid topics but in my opinion it’s time to get real. The republicans have no plan nor do the democrats. Salvation cannot be found within the current two party paradigm for they are merely two sides of the same coin. Heads they win and tails you lose. It is time for radical restructuring across the board. I need to strengthen my resolve, slim down and prepare myself for the road ahead for I cannot sit idly by and watching this slow moving train wreck happen.

Somewhere, someone has to stand up and say that this is unacceptable and we do not have to stand for this any longer. While I’m not a savior in any sense of the word nor do I want to be looked on as one, I’m very concerned that America and the way of life that so many people love is in danger of being lost and the future is looking quite bleak. Perhaps I need to get out my pen and paper and write some more letters to some world leaders. Maybe they will listen this time. The last time I tried to express my concerns it fell on deaf ears, maybe this time it will be different.

Is judgement upon us? If it’s not, it sure does feel like it. I will try to remain optimistic about the future but it is difficult. How much tyranny are we expected to tolerate? That amount varies from person to person but something tells me that amount is large and it can be enormous when you’re not even allowed to speak the word. When freedom of speech is lost, everything else is too. Is it too late to get us all back on track? I’m hesitant to say no because I don’t want to believe that it’s ever too late but we better start getting to the root cause of our problems very quickly and solve them or someday soon it will be too late to do anything about it at all and then it’s done.

I can’t keep going on giving out warnings like this. I hope someone reads this and passes it along.