I went for a ride in the back of a police car tonight.
If getting drunk and hanging around with my second cousin is a crime, then I suppose that I’m guilty as charged.
I think the moral of the story is that some of us are completely, absolutely, bat-shit crazy and now I’m sitting in the local motel.
I didn’t get arrested as there was no charge that could have been placed on me.
I still can’t believe that my second cousin called the cops on me but she did and here I am.
Our relationship has always been more complicated than it would seem, but tonight it took a turn for the worse and here I am, in the roach motel, out of pocket fifty bucks for the privilege.
I did nothing wrong and everyone knows it, but when it comes down to someone with a penis versus someone with a vagina, the person with the penis is going to lose. That is the world we live in and it is patently unfair…and absurd if you really think about it.
If women want equal rights, they had better start thinking a whole lot more rationally. Taking several rides on the cock carousel might sound like fun but there are consequences that comes with doing so. Women would be wise to start being more discerning about who they spread their legs for.
Together, we have come a long way together without discussing this. Maybe it’s a little late, but I think the time has come to start this conversation.
In order to set the record straight, I’m writing about love and not about sex but somehow we all seem to think that they are one in the same. We are wrong about that. Sex is easy to find and can come about rather quickly but love is so very much more elusive and takes time to develop. I could have used that fifty bucks for some quick sex but instead, I’m sitting in a motel room, alone.
As I was nearly arrested tonight, I had to explain to the police that everything was alright. I was having a conversation with a girl. That girl happens to be my second cousin but the situation is far more complicated than that simple statement . I think if anyone actually took the time to hear the full story, we would all surmise that there is nothing wrong with anything that transpired tonight.
All I really want is companionship and I think that’s all she really wants too. That was the gist of the conversation. I never touched her, as that is somehow taboo. In the end, all we ever really need is companionship and I think the purpose of life is to find someone to love.
I think I’ve tried to explain this to her but apparently it’s a no go. Throughout the years of human existence, cousin relationships aren’t uncommon at all. It’s has been happening since the dawn of time. When you think about it, who better do you share a more intimate bond with?
We can deny it all we want but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen. Just because you deny something doesn’t mean it’s not true.
The the easy part is that we can go along and find someone worth loving every other day. The hard part is finding someone who will love you in return. Unrequited love is a real bitch. Why is love so easy to give but so impossible to find?
No matter how it really happened, she called the police on me and I went for a ride in the back of a police car. I actually asked the cop to cuff me just so I could experience the real deal but he wouldn’t because apparently I’m harmless. It was actually a really fun time for me and I was asking the officer smart-assed questions the whole time. He was being as serious as he could be but I know that I made him laugh and that that alone made me happy.
This whole experience has been kind of fun and it makes for a pretty good story but in all honesty, I wish it never happened. What really did happen tonight was this:
I love my second cousin and can imagine a future for us.
She does not love me the same way.
I lost a friend tonight.
This is strike three.
I can never trust her again and it’s time to break ties with her completely.
This is gonna hurt…