Onion, red pepper, orange pepper
I’m sitting at the tire shop waiting for them to figure out why I’m still shaking. It seems to be an ongoing issue I’m having lately. I’ve got new tires, new wheels, new shocks, new springs, new struts, new rotors, cross-drilled and slotted, and new pads and still we’re shaking so I hope it’s not early Parkinson’s disease but your guess is as good as mine because it can happen to anyone I suppose. Maybe Hillary Clinton knows what that’s like? Hey, I’m just a messenger and I’m relaying something I heard yesterday.
I haven’t written in a while and I’ve been meaning to start doing it more often but time has just not been on my side lately. I actually logged on to tell a different story so I think that should be coming up soon but in the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane with me. I took this trip at the beginning of the summer and now summer is almost over.
Sometimes it’s good to be a little nostalgic. When I got in the van a little while ago, I finished up my paperwork from last week. When you’re an independent contractor, you have to keep track of your own invoices and receipts. I was writing down today’s date and then it dawned on me…it was my anniversary. I would have been married 18 years today.
I guess today is just one of those times I’m feeling nostalgic. On the whole, it was good partnership that my wife and I had. It turned into kind of a downer when her love for Ron Rico and Bud Light got the better of her but I lived up to my end of the contract and loved her to her dying day. If her spirit is out there and can see this, then Happy Anniversary Kristi. If not then we continue forward knowing it was remembered and said.
Enough of that though.
I think my writer’s block is starting to lift so let’s enjoy my little photo essay of the road trip I took earlier this summer.
According to the Internet, there weren’t any rooms available at the Taj Mahal that night. I doubt that. Don’t tell me you’re going to believe something just because you saw it on the internet. There’s empty rooms there but I got a better deal and a view of it. It’s all about the deal and I got a better one.
Alright, that’s cool.
Hey, at least I looked pretty and was feeling good about myself.
Swollen feet and legs, way to much driving in the last 30 hours
I think I’m just about out of here for now but might come back soon.
Right color but not Minivan 1 and most likely not as comfortable to sleep in down by the river
When was the last time you played Monopoly?
No more hotels this trip…this is your home Tomorrow…when you’ll have to cross bridges that you burned today.
I had to stop and make an indirect contribution of $80 to the campaign. I was hoping to get tired of winning so much but that didn’t happen…either way, I support Donald J Trump in his bid for President of the United States of America. The Taj Mahal is the only casino that the Trump Corporation owns. The man has built many things and amassed a fortune in which he is using to try and make our country great again. He seems like the real deal but only time will tell.
Action News 6 on location at the beach…and no, that’s not a Hot Wheels car. Nothing happened that day…
…except me putting my feet in the Atlantic
That’s a pretty bold claim don’t you think? Yeah it was pretty big but I’ve had bigger and better. I have no problems with New York style pizza but I’d probably choose Chicago deep dish most of the time
Camping in the van before the show. I took a nap in the parking lot for a few hours before the show
Here’s what I really made a 600 mile detour for…they played an awesome show a week earlier in Chicago. Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to rock out again
That’s one bad-ass bus
Uliana from Cilver
I saw her after the show. I told her that her voice is amazing, she autographed my CD
The girl standing next to me asked me to help her blow up the balloons she brought. Everyone enjoyed her contribution to the entertainment. Who doesn’t like batting around balloons with a thousand of your closest friends?
Together, they are Sixx: A.M. and they rock! On behalf of the Damned, We are patiently waiting for Volume II of our Prayers
Hanging out with the guys from Cilver after the show. They remembered me from a week earlier. That was so cool. Maybe they’ll remember me next time I see them.
Heading for home after a long night. I enjoyed a good nights sleep in the minivan at the welcome center. Nobody bothered meat all
Rock star parking at the service center somewhere on the Pennsylvania Turnpike
I think this is called squirrel hill tunnel. I like driving through mountains.
Apparently this is the heart of Pittsburgh. The fish sandwich at Primanti Brothers was pretty good. You know how you see someplace on the travel channel and you stop because it’s on your way through? It’s kind of like that. The sandwich was huge and kind of hard to eat, so it was a good thing they sell terrible towels next door.
The Ohio Turnpike westbound toward sunset; glad to see they’re spraying again. Good job guys, it’s a pretty nice crisscross pattern you’ve got going on there! Whatever it is they’re trying to do really makes me feel better.
So there you have it. That was my summer vacation. It was far too short but I had to get back home and get back to work. I have a strange job but sometimes it allows me to do stuff like this and that’s why I love my job even though it doesn’t pay the best. Nothing I can do about that though except work harder.
All in all, I have a pretty great life. One could almost say it’s Beautiful!
Catch you all again soon
This is an essay question and points are awarded at my discretion.
Please analyze the following statement:
The normal rules don’t apply to me.
All answers must be submitted in essay form. Please include your own personal narrative. Points will be deducted for improper grammar.
Here’s a gratuitous picture of James Michael for your inspiration. He is one of the most inspirational artists of our time. He sings about positivity and truth. Notice the confidence in his stance. Incorporate the title of one of his songs into your response for super extraordinary points.
Rules: you submit an essay, I’ll read it and award arbitrary points. You are playing for nothing but glory here. Top prize has no monetary value. Final contest results not valid until certified by an authorized agent of CyndiLou Enterprises
Late breaking news from the front lines
I report back, as we fight for liberty, some of which we take the liberty of embellishing ever so slightly. There’s a war on for your private parts.
CyndiLou rants about the globalist agenda
CyndiLou exposes the gender re-education facility
I thought that would get your attention.
Join me all over the road while we stop at the roadhouse and expose a man’s worst fear.
If you’ve always wanted to know, stay tuned…
Pretty much everything is.
I was going to write something eloquent about this, as there is a long story behind that statement, but what would be the point in that…hence, it’s all bullshit.
Pretty much everything is.
Have you ever fallen in love with someone only to tell you it’s not meant to be?
It’s happened to me plenty of times.
Sometimes, I wonder why it’s so easy to find this but so hard to make it work?
Sometimes we have break up:
Think about them for a minute.
Do you think that they learned to hate each other?
I bet they did…
Now think about yourself…
Have you ever wanted something and it t just ain’t happened yet?
Yeah, there’s a story here.
I’ll tell you all about it later.
This won’t break my heart don’t you know…
Been done far too many times and I’m done. I’m playing for love; always have been
Love is a dangerous game.
I’m an Internet Star!
That doesn’t mean shit as it’s almost like saying that I’m a Porn Star
Anyone can be the former;
All you have to do is get everyone you’ve ever known to connect with you on social media and you’re in!
The real question is: what do you contribute to society?
For most of us, the answer is: NOTHING
You’re probably better trying to become famous for fornicating on camera because we should all know that the term “porn star” is a very subjective term.
Seriously, show me something I can use but most likely won’t!
Facebook is bullshit, it’s run by an evil globalist and Zuckerburg has you all right where he wants you!
Zuckerburg owns you!
Online life doesn’t matter at all.
What really matters is how you interact in the real world with your real friends.
I’m not really sure who my real friends are…
Perhaps some of you will speak up?
I went for a ride in the back of a police car tonight.
If getting drunk and hanging around with my second cousin is a crime, then I suppose that I’m guilty as charged.
I think the moral of the story is that some of us are completely, absolutely, bat-shit crazy and now I’m sitting in the local motel.
I didn’t get arrested as there was no charge that could have been placed on me.
I still can’t believe that my second cousin called the cops on me but she did and here I am.
Our relationship has always been more complicated than it would seem, but tonight it took a turn for the worse and here I am, in the roach motel, out of pocket fifty bucks for the privilege.
I did nothing wrong and everyone knows it, but when it comes down to someone with a penis versus someone with a vagina, the person with the penis is going to lose. That is the world we live in and it is patently unfair…and absurd if you really think about it.
If women want equal rights, they had better start thinking a whole lot more rationally. Taking several rides on the cock carousel might sound like fun but there are consequences that comes with doing so. Women would be wise to start being more discerning about who they spread their legs for.
Together, we have come a long way together without discussing this. Maybe it’s a little late, but I think the time has come to start this conversation.
In order to set the record straight, I’m writing about love and not about sex but somehow we all seem to think that they are one in the same. We are wrong about that. Sex is easy to find and can come about rather quickly but love is so very much more elusive and takes time to develop. I could have used that fifty bucks for some quick sex but instead, I’m sitting in a motel room, alone.
As I was nearly arrested tonight, I had to explain to the police that everything was alright. I was having a conversation with a girl. That girl happens to be my second cousin but the situation is far more complicated than that simple statement . I think if anyone actually took the time to hear the full story, we would all surmise that there is nothing wrong with anything that transpired tonight.
All I really want is companionship and I think that’s all she really wants too. That was the gist of the conversation. I never touched her, as that is somehow taboo. In the end, all we ever really need is companionship and I think the purpose of life is to find someone to love.
I think I’ve tried to explain this to her but apparently it’s a no go. Throughout the years of human existence, cousin relationships aren’t uncommon at all. It’s has been happening since the dawn of time. When you think about it, who better do you share a more intimate bond with?
We can deny it all we want but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen. Just because you deny something doesn’t mean it’s not true.
The the easy part is that we can go along and find someone worth loving every other day. The hard part is finding someone who will love you in return. Unrequited love is a real bitch. Why is love so easy to give but so impossible to find?
No matter how it really happened, she called the police on me and I went for a ride in the back of a police car. I actually asked the cop to cuff me just so I could experience the real deal but he wouldn’t because apparently I’m harmless. It was actually a really fun time for me and I was asking the officer smart-assed questions the whole time. He was being as serious as he could be but I know that I made him laugh and that that alone made me happy.
This whole experience has been kind of fun and it makes for a pretty good story but in all honesty, I wish it never happened. What really did happen tonight was this:
I love my second cousin and can imagine a future for us.
She does not love me the same way.
I lost a friend tonight.
This is strike three.
I can never trust her again and it’s time to break ties with her completely.
This is gonna hurt…