All Bad Things 

Happy New Year!

What’s that? I’m late to the party? Sorry to disappoint. 

For my regular reader (because I’m absolutely, positively 100% sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that there maybe just might be at least one) but then again, who knows and nor do I care because you should be living your own life and not hanging around with baited breath to see how I live mine. I hope that you had a happy new year. 

I had meant to write some prose about how this is somehow a special time of year with some really, really, really, really, really very deep message but apparently I’ve come up a little dry on that one. 

Perhaps all I can say on the passing of 2015 is that we made it through yet another one and we’re still here so maybe that’s something to be thankful for. While calendar year 2015 wasn’t all bad and there were some positive things that happened, the few of those we’re definitely overshadowed by the bad things and we’re just glad that 2015 is now behind us because of the basic belief that all bad things must end and all bad things must die.

Let’s take a moment of silence to honor those we lost in 2015…

No I’m not talking about that guy because let’s face it, he was old and death is just a part of life nor am I talking about her because while we thought she was great, for the life of me I can’t remember a single thing she ever did. 

I think the greatest loss we endured last year has to do with four men who dared to do things differently, four men who did it on their own terms, four men that didn’t take any shit from anyone, four men that banded together and shouted at the devil himself. Of course I’m talking about Nikki, Tommy, Mick and Vince; collectively and more commonly known as:  
Motley Crue (1981-2015)

They will be missed although none of them really went anywhere. Maybe we shouldn’t take a moment of silence to mourn our loss after all, because silence was probably the only thing they didn’t do well. Instead, as we take the time to reflect on all of the debauchary that was the Crue, let’s crank it up until it’s Louder than Hell because you were the Toast of the Town and the voice of Generation Swine of which yours’ truly is a proud member of. 

We salute you guys because you were the First Band on the Moon and you welcomed us to Planet Boom. You taught us valuable lessons:

Always Keep Your Eye on the Money, but do the Rattlesnake Shake, because it’s always good to get Sumthin for Nothing. Life may be Misunderstood but treat it like a Hooligan’s Holiday and don’t ever be Enslaved…not to anyone. Sometimes in life we are Too Young to Fall in Love but we can’t help it because She’s got the Looks that Kill and when it doesn’t work out you’ve just got to Primal Scream and shout but then take the Bitter Pill but you really haven’t lived until you’ve taken a ride on the Wild Side. Sometimes those Girls, Girls, Girls are All I Need to Take Me to the Top because sometimes it’s just the Animal in Me and I’m not Just Another Psycho because it was you that taught us about life and how it’s just a Rodeo and sometimes it’s just the Same ol Situation because Chicks = Trouble. 

So the White Trash Circus has come to an end but I, personally, will never water myself down and be Fake even though they continue to Treat Me Like a Dog. No, not me…if I’m going out, then I’m Going out Swinging.

To Nikki, Tommy, Mick and Vince, I’m not sure if your body of work touched anyone else as much as you’ve touched my ass, although you haven’t but it’s an open invitation in a non sexual way…unless of course you have a special place in your hearts for trannies, but then again, I hope you don’t and even if you did, I don’t do dudes, so I hope you’ll just accept my gratitude and my thanks from the bottom of my heart, of which you Kickstarted back before 1989. 

Over 25 years have now passed and their song Time for Change is just as relevant now as it was back then. It’s one of those deep tracks that only a fan would know. Hootie (Darius Rucker) did a great rendition of it on their tribute album by the Nashville Outlaws by the way.

Let’s take a moment to mourn the loss of the Crue. I hope all of them enjoy their retirement, but then again I’m sure retirement to them just means it’s time to go out on top and then find something new to do. Only they know what the future holds for them. Ever at the forefront but always under appreciated, Motley Crue stood for the pinnacle of life…who really gives a fuck if the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame closed their doors on them long ago. As far as I’m concerned, you guys don’t need to worry about a thing. You came, you rocked and we all owe you our thanks.

I’m not an insider and I have no idea what their future plans are but I do know that Vince Neil is coming this way in about a week and a half. His solo career has never really taken off because he will always be best known as being the one true voice of Motley Crue but that doesn’t matter and I’m looking forward to checking out his show soon despite the fact that my cousin thinks he’s a real asshole. As far as I’m concerned, he can be an asshole all he wants because he’s a rock star and he’s earned that right. I hope it’s a good show and I’ll report on it afterwards.

To Tommy Lee, it was a bummer that the Crucifly failed on you during your last show…I guess that’s apropos as the drum roller coaster couldn’t have picked a better time to stop working. We have no  idea of what your future plans are but but beyond playing percussion, you are a brilliant entertainer who went far beyond simply banging on the drums. No one else has done what you have and that saying a lot for the guy who usually sits in the back providing the beat…you always brought the beat out into the crowd and made your fans feel part of the show and that’s why we love you. I wish you well in all of your future endeavors.

To Mick Mars: thank you for giving us some of the most well know riffs in the history of rock. For what it’s worth, I hope you are remembered as the greatest rock guitarist of all time. To get up and play night after night and in the pain you have endured is a real testament to the human spirit. I don’t want to equate ankylosing spondylitis to common back pain but I experienced the latter and it debilitated me so bad that I missed the show in Chicago last August. 

Lastly, to Nikki Sixx, we hope that you don’t get too set in retirement though we doubt you will. When one door closes, another opens and we’re all looking forward to new music from Sixx:A.M. You, James Michael and DJ Ashba are really on to something great and your show at the Vic back in April 2015 was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to.  You’ve said that there’s not one but two albums coming out this year…we’re all looking forward to them.

Life changes in an instant and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so live it today and make the most of it. At it’s essence, isn’t that what Motley Crue stood for. I think that was the general message…after all, they were the ones that asked:
If I Die Tomorrow…have I said all I can say?

I think I’ve said all I can say right about now and I’m going to wrap up this Sick Love Song because I’ve got to grab a few winks and be someplace at Sixx AM 
In remembrance, R.I.P. Motley Crue 

Don’t cry, just stand up and

Raise Your Hands to Rock!!!

Your Faithful Reporter Signing Off,


One more thing: you guys have my vote for 2015 but in 2016, it’s my time and I’m going for the title you inspired me to achieve this year:

Motherfucker of the Year

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